Stop Groveling in Self Pity
I have dealt with several people who had tragic falls into sin and who I have been trying to help with their restoration. These men and women have something in common. They are suffering terribly. In fact they are suffering so badly that they are almost in agony. Nothing I say to them seems to help. No matter what I say to encourage them they seem to come back with the same despair. During the night recently I received a text message from one of these people who had been crying out in agony. I got out of bed and begin to think and pray for this person. The Holy Ghost placed upon my heart an answer. There are some of you who are reading this that are living in agony that is destroying you and I want to tell you what I think might be the cause. Well, it is one or a combination of three things.
1. You have a repentance problem.
Let me make something very clear; there are many people who fall and are sad about the consequences but not so much the sin. In fact their grief is not over their sin at all. Their grief is over what their sin has cost them. They have not repented of their sin. They are recoiling from the pain their sin has caused them. They are living in self-pity and are feeling sorry for themselves because of the suffering. If you have repented of your sin, God has forgiven you and His peace should be filling your heart. So, why are you living in such agony? Maybe it's because you really haven't repented of your sin. You are sorry for your consequences but you are really not sorry nor have you repented for what you've done. Stop whining and repent.
2. You have a forsaking problem.
Consider this carefully. If you have committed sexual sins, but you are still looking at porn, then you cannot have peace. The reality is you haven't forsaken your sin until you have forsaken that which led to that public sin. It is time for you to forsake the private parts too. It is not enough to just forsake the act. You forsake those things and thoughts which led to the act. Stop whining about your life and start winning the battle against sin. I am completely convinced that some of these who are whining about how bad it is and who are living in misery are still playing with the very sins that led to their fall. Forsake means forsake. It means STOP entertaining the sin on the internet. Stop entertaining any sin in your life. That's one of the things that got Eve in trouble.
3. You have an approval problem.
Let me give you some news. The people who are mistreating you because of your sins are wrong but you committed your sins. Stop blaming them. Let God deal with the elder brothers and you do what you are supposed to do. You are sitting around waiting for somebody to tell you that you're accepted. I have good news and I have bad news for you. The good news is that God has accepted you if you have repented and forsake the sins. The bad news is that you are going to be rejected by some people. I have not known a day in over thirty years of being fully accepted by men. There are always enemies and critics. There are always slanderers and detractors. You must learn to live with it. Stop feeling like you are being persecuted because you're not. You are dealing in consequences. They are wrong for what they're doing, but it is what YOU did that empowers those elder brothers. Stop whining about it.
It is rare that I write things this tough, but when I woke up in the middle of the night, God began to speak to my heart. I believe that this truth is needed in some of your lives right now. I know where you are. I have been there. I have whined while not repenting. I have moaned and groaned while not forsaking. I have thrown my pity parties because of people not accepting me. I know that it leaves you feeling low and discouraged. Stop it. Do what you're supposed to do and stop living in your self-pity. God has given you the victory, now live in it.
One time I confronted and rebuked one of the people about whom I am speaking. Within a few minutes they told me of the sin they were still entertaining in their life. I knew it. I felt it. Thank God their heart was not yet hardened by their rebellious spirit. Because of their admission, they had an opportunity to get out of the doldrums and get on the side of victory. You have that same opportunity, if you'll just take it.