Advice To Hurting People
These are a few suggestions that I hope you will carefully consider. You can have a great future if you allow the people who love you and want to help you to do so.
1. Stop believing that no one cares. Some people care. Just because people can't help doesn't mean they don't care.
2. Stop fighting the people who want to help you. It goes back to the old saying, don't bite the hand that feeds you. Do not push away the ones willing to help you.
3. Stop expecting people to tell you what you want to hear. It's not going to happen. People are going to tell you what they think you need to hear. When you cannot accept what you need to hear, you become angry because you want people to tell you what you want to hear. That doesn't work.
4. Stop rehashing the past. Once someone knows the past, you must stop talking about it. I understand that it is difficult not to think about our hurts. That is why you need to cast your cares upon the Lord and believe he can help you carry them. The tongue is like a bit in a horse's mouth, meaning your words guide your directions.
5. That said, stop blaming God. God did not force the behavior of others upon you. It is not God's doing, nor does He cause people to hurt you.
6. Start believing that God has a purpose for all of this. The very worst things that happen to us do so with God's knowledge. He knows how to use them for good.
7. Make sure God CAN use them for good. There are two questions I ask people when they go through difficult times. First, I ask if they love God. Second I ask whether or not they believe they are called according to God's purpose. If they love God, then they must trust Him. If they are called according to his purpose, they must be patient for that purpose to be accomplished.
8. Listen more than you talk. This one is tough. We believe talk eases our pain, but it merely increases it. Learn to listen to the people who want to help you.
9. Don't try to change others. I am so sorry that there have been those who hurt you. You have been disappointed and disillusioned, but those who want to help you cannot change those people. Telling us what is wrong with them will not fix them. Let God deal with them.
10. Allow people to tell you how to deal with what people have done to hurt you. The only person you have any control over is yourself. Those of us who would like to help you can help you deal with what others have done. However, we cannot change those other people.
11. Control your spirit. When my spirit is out of control, I am out of control. Keep your spirit calm. Keep your spirit patient. Learn what triggers your spirit to be out of control and avoid those things.
12. Let others help you make a plan for your future. Unfortunately, we cannot fix the past, but we can guide you toward a better future. Your life is not over. You need caring people to help you rebuild your life.
13. Don't be a victim. There is no question you have been hurt. However, you must decide not to remain a victim but to become victorious in Christ Jesus.