Children Have A Right To Be Accepted
Every child needs to know he is just as important to his parents as any other child. He needs to know he is accepted as part of the family because of who he is and not only because he performs properly. He needs to sense that we accept him unconditionally.
Partiality between children is wrong. While it is true that some children's ways are more compatible with our than other children's are, we may never allow that to affect our acceptance of them. Isaac and Rebekah's making a difference between their two sons brought much pain and difficulty to them all.
When children don't feel accepted, they tend to do things to test their acceptance in ways that can be obnoxious. They might do things to get attention. We must try to help them understand our acceptance of them without catering to their unacceptable ways. Catering to improper conduct would only make them act worse
There are times when we must concentrate our attention on a particular child. Little John needs to hear his father say to his big brother, "James, you were interrupting. John was talking."
The desire to be accepted has a connection to the homing instinct. All of us have that instinct, including our children. We want a spot to call our own, a spot where we can say, "Here is where I belong!" We look for a particular place in other people's hearts and lives. We parents are to provide that place of acceptance for each of our children.